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Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Missing you so much....


My dear precious husband Tommy,

I miss you so much. There are no words that can express just how much I miss you. I wish you were here. I long to hold your hand and feel your body next to mine. I want to hear your voice calling my name.

The pain I feel is not ever going to go away. I want you here and I don't know what to do about it. My heart is in pain. It will not stop hurting. I don't know what to do about any of it. Sometimes I want to give up. I can't and won't give up for our kids. They are everything to me and always will be. 

How I long for you. Nobody will ever know. What do I do babes? How do I deal with every day to day things? Please help me through each day. Walk with me and hold me. Guide me to make the right decisions. 


I love you my sweet husband....Forever.....

Your loving wife and kids,
Melinda, Shae, & Erik

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Family....


My dear precious husband Tommy,

Life is so strange. How can people who are your family not even bother to call. They say they love you but they don't call. They say they were told not to cause of this or that. Its all a bunch of crap. People should realize that others are lying just to keep them away.

The kids will not forget it. They don't understand. They never will and they will not forgive either. How some people keep the ones they love away from them due to jealousy or whatever crazy thing they have in their head. 

I hope the family member who is doing this reads this post. You know who you are. You should be ashamed. My kids are great kids and to keep the one person who could have help them through what they are dealing with in losing their dad there are no words. 

Its okay truth will prevail and when it does the one who is doing this will have a hard fall.

I know my Tommy is hurt from all of this. Our kids are such good kids and should never be done this way. I know Tommy is here with us and that is really all that matters.

I love you my precious husband...Forever....

Your loving wife and kids,
Melinda, Shae, & Erik

Monday, October 29, 2012

You are my light.....


My dear precious husband Tommy,

You are my light....My shining light...you are the reason of who I am today. I am stronger because of you...You made sure of that. I know you walk with me everyday....You are my everything.....

You showed me how to stand on my own two feet. I am a braver person now. You are the best thing that came into my life. You protected me and stood up for me. You picked me over all others. I will forever cherish that. You are my everything.....

My life is what it is today because of you. You encouraged me with my writing saying to me, "You write for I know your writing is good. You write from the heart and so it will become something one day." I write for you my love and always will. You are everything to me.

I love and miss you dearly.....Forever....

Your loving wife and kids,
Melinda, Shae, & Erik

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Sick today.....


My dear precious husband Tommy,

I am sick today. Have a head cold I think. I just know I do not feel good. I had a rough night. Please be with me babes for you will make me feel better. You always did when I was sick just to feel you made me feel so much better.

People may not understand that but its the truth. I know it because of the special bond and love we share. You are my soul mate. You are my everything. You.....You....You...I cannot express how much I miss and love you.....

Its just in my heart. The love I feel for you. You are the most special thing to me. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I know we shared a bond that few share. I am a very loving person. I give my complete heart to those I love.

I love you my precious husband.....Forever....

Your loving wife and kids,
Melinda, Shae, & Erik

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Things of you... and from you...


My dear precious husband Tommy,

Things I have of you and from you means the world to me. I have every love note you left lying around for me. I have all your clothes and shoes....I have your wallet. I have all the flowers you have ever got me over the 25 years we were married....and to me we are still married just as I know you feel the same way....

I treasure them all....I hold them close to my heart. I know I have a part of you in all these things. To see your writing from your love notes sends my heart into happiness. It shows just how much you love me and still do......

These things I will treasure forever. I will keep them and hold them close to my heart. I miss you so much and our love will be forever.......

I love you my precious husband......Forever....and ever....

Your loving wife and kids,
Melinda, Shae, & Erik

Friday, October 26, 2012

Days are so lonely.....


My dear precious husband Tommy,

The days are so lonely without you here...I just wish I knew what to do with myself. You are my life and without you here I am so alone. I wish you were here and everything would be so much better. 

I have learned people are so mean and uncaring. You warned me how they are. I have now learned to be more cautious and be aware of people. I do have one good friend and I am thankful for that. 

Our kids are amazing and I know you stand with them everyday, just as you do with me. I just wish you were here and there is not another person like you, well except for our daughter. 

I love you my precious husband.....Forever.....

Your loving wife and kids,
Melinda, Shae, & Erik

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Sounds of you......


My dear precious husband Tommy,

Sounds of you I hear so often. I am so thankful for it. It the sound of you snoring to sounds of you talking. Some people may think I am crazy but our connection is so strong I can hear you at times. You come to me in my dreams too.

I hope that my love letters to you helps somebody out there who has experience the loss of their spouse. I know it has devastated me to the point I just dont know what to do. I love you more than anything in the world. I wish you were here. I know it is not easy on our kids either.

They miss their dad so very much. I feel their pain. Its a pain that can and will never go away. Its as if life stops in its tracks. It is the hardest thing in the world. We stick together and hold on tight. We feel you here and know that you will always be with us.

We love you....I love you ......forever.....

Your loving wife and kids,
Melinda, Shae, & Erik


Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Time Stands Still.....


My dear precious husband Tommy,

Time stands still anymore...I mean I miss you and it seems I am so alone. I want you here holding me and telling me everything is going to be alright. You always made me feel better no matter the situation. 

I want you here. I will always what you here. The pain never stops and I am so scared. I don't know what to do. I mean I need you with me and that is all I know. Just to hear your voice would help me so. Please come to me in my dreams. 

I just need you to know how much I love you and always will. No matter what you are my husband forever. Nothing will change that. I hope people realize what they have before its to late. I know I knew what I had and how I long to have it back. I know you are with me in spirit and you travel every road I walk with me. Thank you my sweets.

I love you my husband....forever....

Your loving wife and kids,
Melinda, Shae, & Erik

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Days are lonely.....


My dear precious husband Tommy,

Days are so lonely without you in them. I sometimes don't know what to do. I know that life would be better if you were here. You made everything so much better. You are my life and always will be. I miss you so much and I sometimes don't know what to do with myself.

I imagine you will come back.....Then it hits me there is no way. The pain rushes through my body again. Just like it all just happened. I long to see you. I know I will someday when it is meant to be. I know I am needed here for our kids and that is what you want and so do I for Shae is only 14 so I need to be here with her and I feel that the Creator will let me be. 

You are my precious love and that will never change. I think of you all the time. I always sit and think when I have to make a decision if it would be what you would do. Then I ask you and you always let me know if I am making the right decision. 

I love you my husband and miss you so much....Forever in my heart....

Your loving wife and kids,
Melinda, Shae, & Erik

Monday, October 22, 2012

Russell Means crossed over....


My dear precious husband Tommy,

Just wanted to say that Russell Means crossed over this morning. He will be so missed. I remember when he was diagnosed with this cancer and you were standing there in the kitchen talking to me about it because I was so upset.

Now he has crossed over where you are. I am sure you two will be speaking and I am sure you will tell him how I looked up to him. He is now with his ancestors and everybody is rejoicing together.

I know he will be missed by his wife and children. I totally understand that. The pain will never stop and they will always miss him. He will never be forgotten. So, Tommy keep him company and learn everything you can. You know how interesting that will be.

Well I want to say to Russell's family that I am so sorry but know he will always be with you. Rest in peace my friend.

I love you Tommy....my precious husband....forever....

Your loving wife and kids,
Melinda, Shae, & Erik

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Life is so different.......


My dear precious husband Tommy,

Life is so different without you here. Everything is so different and will never be the same. Things have changed without you here. I really have nobody to talk to.Nothing is the same. I pray that I make all the right decisions. 

Life is short and I just want to help as many people as I can. I want to show that life is not always bad. I always try and help others as much as I can. I try and do the right thing but sometimes it does not matter. 

All I know is I try and reach out to people and help them. Just by being there for them when they need to talk to lending an air conditioner....Its the small things in life that count. I know you are with me Tommy watching my every turn and I am so thankful.

I love you my babes...Forever....

Your loving wife and kids,
Melinda, Shae, & Erik

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Northern Arizona Romance Writers of America Meeting Today.....


My dear precious husband Tommy,

Today I am going to Susie's house for our Northern Arizona Romance Writer's Of America Meeting. I have been elected to serve on the board as the Treasurer. I am so honored. I hope I am elected in November. Will keep you informed. Its going to be a fun day. There are going to be writers galore there. My cup of tea.

I know you will be sitting there beside me watching it all. Laughing at me for I am so into my element when it comes to writing and talking. You will be there supporting me like always.

I just want to say thank you for coming to me in my dreams. I know you were giving me a message not to worry. Everything will be okay.

I love you my husband...Forever...

Your loving wife and kids,
Melinda, Shae, & Erik

Friday, October 19, 2012

I weep for you....


My dear precious husband Tommy,

I weep for you every day...I long to have you here sitting beside me....Talking with me, holding me.....Oh I miss you so much. The tears stream down my face....They will not stop....

I miss you so much......I just don't know what to do with myself..The kids are wonderful for they stand by me and always there to help me through...Shae always tells me "Mom, dad is here."

I know this but I just want you here holding me. I miss your laughter, I miss you....Period...You will always be a part of me....You are my soul mate...Forever......

I love you my husband....forever....

Your loving wife and kids,
Melinda, Shae, & Erik