December 29,2011

My dearest sweet Tommy,


Yesterday was not such a good day....I know you already know that and I promise to you and the kids to be stronger.....I love you and the kids more than anything in the world....Sometimes I let things get to me....Bother me in way that I guess I shouldn't but sometimes I cannot help it....

I hear people laughing and talking to their spouse and I get angry....Not at them, not at you, just angry because I wish you were here...Does that make sense?

Sometimes I feel like I don' t know what to do next....This is the hardest thing in the world I have ever dealt with....I feel so empty and heartbroken.....The pain is always so bad....How does it get better with time?

Well the most important thing is I pray that you, Shae, and Erik know how much I love you guys and nothing will ever change that...I pray that everything gets better for us....The pain, the worry of everyday life, just everything works out for us....I know with you by our side it will....

I love you my babes and I love our kids.....

Your loving wife and kids,
Melinda, Shae, & Erik

December 28, 2011

My dearest sweet Tommy,


Just wanted to say hello and let you know you are on my mind....I miss you so very much.....I know that no matter how much I say this to you my words cannot describe the pain....

I spoke with my fellow author, Beth Trissel....She is such a dear friend to me....She has spoken with me and her words of comfort help me to much....I had to share that with you because I know you are thankful to her....I will be a guest on her blog in a couple of weeks and of course I will be talking about you and my books that you inspire me to write...

I wish I could go back in time just to see you again....To tell you just how much I love you and need you....I know that you know that but I would still like to say it to your loving face....

I know you are at peace and are okay...I feel you near me all the time no matter what I am doing...You make me strong and I am going to make you proud of me but you always told me that I was the love of your life and I know I am just as you are to me....

Well my babes I just needed to tell you that I love you and nothing will ever change that...I always believed in you and always will.....


Your loving wife and kids,
Melinda, Shae, & Erik

December 27, 2011

My dearest sweet Tommy,


Another beautiful day.....missing you the same....I wish you were here sharing Payson with me.....Everywhere I look I see you here....I miss you so very much.....

Erik's hike

The day will be the same for me.....Crying, missing you, loving you......It will always be that way for me....But I know you understand that.....

Shoofly Ruins

Erik's hike went good....He could not get to Water Wheel because of all the snow melt it flooded the area....but he did got to Shoofly Ruins.....Very sacred there..I will share some of his beautiful pictures.....

The kids love to talk about you so of course we do all the time...but I too love talking about you...especially the good times which we shared a lot of....


Also, I must share the gift the kids got for you for Christmas....It is a dream catcher with an eagle on it....they got me one with bears....The gifts are so special....I know you are smiling at them....

Our special gifts from our kids

I know you love us and always will just like you do us.....but I also know you understand our sadness and grieving.....It is so hard losing you and I know it will always be that way....


We miss and love with every breath we take but someday we will all reunited and live for eternity......

Our family... forever

We love you forever......


Your loving wife and kids,
Melinda, Shae, & Erik

December 26, 2011

My dearest sweet Tommy,


Well its the day after Christmas and I miss you even more...The kids loved their gifts but I am sure you know that.....There were times yesterday that I lost it....I could not control the tears...

Erik has gone hiking today...He went to Water Wheel campground.....He has a lot on his mind and needed to get away....But I will worry until he returns....

Shae is still in the bed.....She loved all her gifts...Which included some makeup, clothes, gothic of course.....She is growing into a beautiful young woman....

I know the emptiness that I feel will always be.....I took Erik to a certain drop off point this morning for his hiking trip...It brought back memories of you.....The certain places we use to go to still stand.....I felt you all around...I miss you so very much....

Please keep me strong and going....I have to know you are here....My heart breaks with every moment.....You were and always will be the best husband and friend a person could have....Not to mention the best dad in the world....You loved Shae, Erik, and myself unconditionally as we did and always will you...

Know you are the love of my life and I wish I could hold you right now...Just to whisper...."I love you and you are the most precious thing in the world to me."  But I know you know that.....

Oh I forgot to mention that my publisher requested for me to write some more short stories to go with the one I submitted to her about the Apache Maiden and she was going to turn it into an anthology....I know you are smiling....

Love you with all our hearts.....


Your loving wife and kids,
Melinda, Shae, and Erik

December 24, 2011

To my dearest sweet Tommy,


It is Christmas Eve.....Going to be a long day....We are missing you more than anything in the world....We know you are here with us........

It will never get any easier.....The hurt is so overbearing at times...You are present in everything we do....We feel you all around us.....We feel your warm presence and it blesses us so deeply...

Shae is excited about opening a present tonight....You know how she is....Loves presents just like me....You always laughed at me about how I always wanted presents......

We know you will be here and you will smile as the presents are opened....You have a present under the tree that the kids are so excited about.....They said they were at Wal-Mart and there was two gifts they were torn between about getting you and suddenly a light shown on one of them so that is the one they got.....I know whatever it is you will be so proud......

Well babes we love you so very much.....and always will....


Your loving wife and kids,
Melinda, Shae, & Erik

December 22, 2011

My dearest sweet Tommy,


Good morning my love.....You are always on my mind....Yesterday I cried off and on....We were talking about Christmas morning and how you always gathered us around the tree for the kids to open their presents.....It hit me hard you would not be there in physical form.....I know you will be in spirit........

The mere thought of you not being here breaks my heart into......I can hardly handle the fact....The kids know that it is going to be hard on me......I will try so hard to carry on but it will be so difficult....

We are going to your mom's this evening.....She wants us to come and eat supper....I am not sure but I think I might be getting a head cold or something....I hope if I am getting sick it is only with a head cold....I know you will be here to take care of me like you always did....Actually you have ruined me by the way you would pamper me....

I love you forever and you will always be in my heart...Nothing can change that.....
Sometimes I feel like I cannot go on but then I hear your voice...."You are strong....I love you and the kids need you."  That is all I have to hear.....

Love you babes forever.....Always in my heart.....


Your loving wife and kids,
Melinda, Shae, & Erik